The Seed is Planted

Imbolc holds the “promise” of tomorrow; It’s Mother’s way of teaching us patience. I am learning that I am not as patient a person as I used to be. I want, if not instant gratification, then at least gratification that is “nearby”. I used to help plan Pagan Pride Day and that was a months-long process. We’d start in January planning for an event in September or October. Mostly it was small, incremental progress until about 2 months before the event and then a flurry of activity. Maybe I was just used to the pace of it, year after year. I’ve been out of that loop for a while now.

Last year I started a project I didn’t even know I wanted to do—writing a book, The Art of Sigils, about using sigils to inspire creativity. I’ve been making and using sigils for over a decade now because I discovered that this was the most accessible and productive magick I have ever learned to do. Sometime in the last couple of years the sigils became more than just a means to an end. They became a vehicle for creative expression that filled a need in my soul. As I talked to friends about the book project they would often comment “I’m not at all creative”, which to me, was an odd thing to say because most of the people I know are very creative–people who experiment and think outside the box. It began to occur to me that many people mistakenly equate “creative” with “artistic” but they’re not the same thing. While Artists are often Creative, Creative people are not always Artists.

For example: One of my friends owns a coffee and tea shop. She makes the most wonderful tea blends. Another of my friends is an amazing cook who combines ingredients in ways I never would have thought of. I have friends that are discovering Herbalism and are creating potions, lotions and concoctions that nourish the body and uplift the spirit. I’ve met two different men who use a myriad of percussion and musical instruments to heal the soul. These are all examples of being Creative that don’t necessarily have anything to do with Art.

For a while last year, the book practically wrote itself, one thing flowed into the next. Then I reached a point where I could not proceed further. I had to stop. And wait. Certain things needed to be done before I could continue and I didn’t have any control over when they would be done or there was no way to speed up the time it was allotted. That was hard. I planted the seed and now I had to wait for germination. I continued to make plans and do some research but I couldn’t work on the book itself. This (along with some other occurrences) caused me to become depressed. In this time of inactivity, the doubts came seeping in. Was I doing all this work for nothing? What made me think I have anything interesting or important to say? I have no experience in publishing a book so what makes me think I can do it successfully? There’s an awful lot of time and effort that goes on in addition to the book itself. Can I do it? Can I sustain the momentum? Those damn thoughts are like cockroaches – hard to get rid of and they keep multiplying! 

The winter months are usually difficult for me so this depression persisted through the last two months of last year and even followed me into this year. The fact that I was sick as a dog the first week of the New Year did nothing to improve my mental outlook. I seriously thought about giving up on the project. It was only recently that I’ve been able to make progress again on the book – actually working on the book itself, not just planning, making lists and researching. That seems to have help the depression lift (in addition to regaining my health). I’m writing this, not to gain sympathy, but to be honest about my journey and to let others know that they are not alone in their depression and self-doubt. That they can come through to the other side and pick up their dreams where they left them. Hang in there. Practice patience.

I just finished a contest inviting the public to submit entries that could end up in my book. Intended to generate interest and publicity for the book, there wasn’t as much participation as I had hoped, but I did get a few entries. I also just launched an Indiegogo campaign to help finance hiring people to do the things I don’t have the skills to do. Self-publishing isn’t as much of a solo endeavor as one would think and it isn’t free.

I have planted my seed. Germination is accomplished. The roots are growing and I can see the tender green sprout emerging through the soil. I still have to wait a little more time before I can shape it and feed it and still longer before it bares fruit for me to share with the world.

Imbolc holds the “promise” of tomorrow. But it’s not here yet and I have to practice patience. I will water my dream and tend it. If you would like to share in this dream, I invite you to add your drop of water (every drop makes a difference) to this project through my Indiegogo campaign. Together we can help it grow and when it bears fruit I will share it with you.

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Shells In Candlelight

I do a lot of crafts and art things so I have a lot of "stuff" laying around. Sometimes I just gather up the stuff and do photo shoots. I love the look of candlelight.

Texture

Earlier this year I decided to set myself a photo challenge theme for each month in order to have something to photograph if I didn't have anything particular in mind. January was Texture. I like doing detail shots and looking closely at things we see pretty much every day but don't really pay any attention to.

There is a wooden outside near my door. On one of the rare rainy days in California I took this shot.

This vine is growing on the concrete wall that separates by building from the one next door. This vine is a volunteer which comes from the apartment building behind my carport.

The landlord recently gave up on trying to grow grass in the front and put in gravel. This picture was also taken on that rare rainy day I mentioned earlier. Dry gravel isn't very interesting looking.

This is one of the walls outside the building. They were doing pre-paint prepwork - scraping off all the loose paint. Another rainy day photo. 

 artichoke. (not taken on a rainy day OR outside my apartment).

I think this was a plant outside the butterfly pavilion at the Natural History Museum. I love the soft, delicate seeds.

 

The Spirit of Trees

I'm working on a book of manipulated photographs about the secret life in trees (working title - I don't know what it's going to actually end up being). I take a piece of a tree I have photographed and make a kind of kalideoscope effect with it and see what happens. Often times animals or faces show up in the images. This one is like one of those hidden image pictures where you can find all kinds of things in it. The original image was a  shedding eucalyptus tree.

Flowers, Trees, Bugs & Birds

Hiding in plain sight

Kudos to this tree for effort.

Another path (I like paths. I might make a whole book about paths.)

I love variegated flowers. This one is like sunset in a flower.

There were ladybugs everywhere so it wasn't hard to get a good shot.

Water is another favorite subject to shoot.

Don't know what these flowers are but I really like the pods.

Humming birds ARE hard to photograph (not like ladybugs).

All these photos were taken ad Descanso Gardens.

Treasure

This is treasure from my Mendocino trip - shells, and sea glass. No jewels and gold in my treasure chest (although that would be really useful). I love shells, rocks, bits of driftwood or anything that calls to me. With an entire beach to choose from these must have been very special. I like them for their colors, or shapes. All of the shells are broken but that just adds to their character.

I might make jewelry from some of them. If I spray them with a sealer that will bring out all the lovely colors on them that are more vibrant when they're wet. The almost transparent piece of sea glass in the near center is frosted and translucent white when dry (these are all sitting in a bowl of water for the photo).



 The shell at the very top, slightly left of center has bands of yellow, silverish pearl, and very dark brown, black or blue. Such beautiful, rich colors!

Yeah, this one! Not a very good picture. Maybe I'll take a better one over the weekend.




 This one looks like a bird beak!

 

This one has some beautiful colors as well and is floating around in my brain trying to figure out how to be a necklace.

I believe these are pieces of milk glass.

People used to throw their dishware in the dump (hopefully only the broken pieces). Milk glass used to be much more common than it is now. I remember my grandmother had a milk glass pitcher and a hobnail glass bowl when I was a kid. I only see these in antique stores and thrift stores now.

So, these are the treasures I brought back from my trip. For now they're residing on my fireplace mantle along with all the other bits of things I pick up here and there.

Trees!

Ok, I freely admit that I'm a tree hugger. Deal with it!
Trees are as individual as people and as open to imagination as clouds. I very often see faces or animals in the shapes, textures or colors of trees. Follow me down the rabbit hole...

Not sure if the twisty part is natural or man made, but I like this shape. If you saw the pictures from Japanese Garden Part II, this was at the end of the path shown in that post.

Even trees like to look at their own reflection. I think this one was taken at the Hunting Library and Botanical Gardens.

Remember how I said I see faces in the trees? Do you see the angry monster?

Wounded Willow. There was a branch here recently. I wonder if the hole is the result of a disease or an animal.

 The palm tree is covered in these around it's whole trunk. This one makes me laugh. Depending on my mood I see eyes or nipples.

While nice straight trees can be majestic and impressive, tress like this have a lot of character.

Owl, obviously.

the variety of ways trees reproduce is quite amazing to me. If a tree produces a huge amount of seeds it's because most of them will be eaten by animals. These seeds are intended to drop straight down and grow right beside the parent tree. Other trees have very light seeds that float on the wind and can be carried quite far from the parent tree.

I heard someone on the radio last year talking about how plants and trees are fruiting and flowering abundantly here in California for the last couple of years. This person said that because we've been having a drought for the last 4 years the plants and trees are over producing seed in a last ditch effort to ensure their survival.

 Texture, color, shape. Can't you just feel it?

This is one of the roots of the previous tree. Much smoother texture. Possibly from being walked on?

Sometimes I take pictures like this to use as background texture on design projects.

This was either a detail of the same tree or one near it. I'm pretty sure it's eucalyptus. When they shed their bark what is left looks (to me) like human skin.


I could go on and on about trees. And I probably will in another post.